A Sunday Spent Waiting for One Thing and Planning for Another

Earlier this week Gayle's mom called him to say that Papa had gone to the hospital to have his gall bladder out (or gallstones removed, it was difficult to tell which), but had spiked a fever that meant they had to delay the procedure until the infection was identified and treated. Getting the iformation second hand from my mother-in-law, it's difficult to make sense of what's actually going on.

Gayle called me Thursday at work to say that he'd heard from his mom again, and that the infection was coming from the gall bladder and that surgery'd been delayed at least a week, during which Papa would stay inpatient.

On Friday, Gayle called with the bad news that that morning Papa had started to have difficulty breathing. The infection had gotten into his bloodstream, and it was too much for him. His body started shutting down. He & Grandma had time together to say their goodbyes, and he was put on a respirator and sedated. His extended family has started to head north from Florida and will be staying in the house with Grandma, who's already began to make some of the preliminary funeral arrangements. It sounds cold to think that she's able to do that, but she's a practical woman and I know she & Papa have talked through his wishes long before now (years, probably). When we go up, we'll stay at a hotel. Grandma will have enough on her plate as it is, and we can come up another time.

We talked about taking the kids with us or not. I was in favor of leaving them but Gayle felt very strongly that they should go. Death is a part of life, Russell is Papa's namesake, and all that. I was worried that it'd be too scary for Russell to see Papa in his casket, and both sad & scary for Christine. Russell doesn't have too many memories of Papa, while Christine definitely does. She associates him with Grand Marais, a place of fun and relaxation and famiy time spent together. Good memories. I asked Christy what she thought, and she thinks they'll both be able to handle it just fine. She recommended listening closely to their questions, and answering only what they ask without going into long-winded explanations that adults tend to give when they themselves are attempting to process a sensitive situation. We can talk about what we remember about Papa, the things we loved about him.

All this, and as far as I know he hasn't passed away yet. Part of me suspects he has, and that we just haven't gotten word yet, that someone thinks that the news we got was enough. The other part of me just doesn't want to address that reality yet. Gayle already told Bryce, Chris & Jan, and Bill & Cathy. Bryce called yesterday, and he'll tell Fred. We talked about it, and we think that Bill & Cathy will tell Ed Bowen.

:sigh: I have to go. The kids are driving me crazy, and I have too long a mental list to keep up frivolousy typing.